Two steps forward, One step back

I know that I've mentioned struggling the last few months, but I think I've been in denial still. I think that the only way to truly get back on track is to admit to exactly where I am now. In the last month I've even found myself avoiding the gym because I didn't want my friends to realize that I've gained weight back. Well, if I admit it to the world, there's no longer anything to hide. I can head back to the gym and start getting back on track!
From my highest weight, I lost 45 lbs. Since December, I've gained 22 lbs back.

I'm certainly not happy about those numbers. Especially when I realize how much more weight I could be down right now if I hasn't fallen off the wagon the last 4 months!  But it's time to stop hiding from it, and beating myself up about this all!  When I'm beating myself up, all that accomplishes is helping me to get farther and farther from the path that I want to be on.  When I'm down on myself, I tend to sabotage things even more.  I just give up and stop trying! 

It's time to pick myself up off the floor, dust myself off, and get back on track.  I KNOW THAT I CAN DO THIS!!!  Time to believe in myself!

So one of the ways I plan on motivating myself is by making a small goal.  I am going on vacation in exactly 13 weeks.  My goal is to lose 32 lbs before my vacation.  That's about 2.5 lbs per week.  Wont be easy, but at the same time it's VERY doable! 

I could also very much use some accountability.  I would love it if over the next 13 weeks if my friends would send me a text, or a message on Facebook, or a phone call, or a question at the gym.  Just ask me how I'm doing on this goal.  I'll be 100% honest with each and every one of you.  It's the only way that I know to make a change.  I could really use that accountability and support!  Thanks in advance!

And for anyone that reads this, that has ever falling off the wagon when reaching for your goals.  This is the perfect time to get back on track.  Don't beat yourself up over losing a few steps.  Be proud of what you have accomplished.  And be proud of the courage it takes to admit that you've made some mistakes and that you are ready to continue on the right path.

Aerobic Class Bingo

I've accepted a challenge that I feel will really help me get back on track with all of my goals.  At the gym where I usually work out, they have a challenge for the month of March.  It's Aerobic Class Bingo.  Basically, you get a Bingo card, with 25 spaces.  Each space has the name of one of their aerobic classes.  A few of them are classes that I've done (or still do), but some of them are classes that I've never tried before.  Every time that you go to a class, you can get it marked off of your card.  There are two different challenges.  One is just to get 5 in a row.  The other though is to get a black out, all 25 classes signed off!  I'm making myself the goal to complete the full 25 class blackout!

This is going to be a real challenge for me!  First off, a lot of the classes are held at different times of the day from when I usually work out.  Also, some classes are only offered once a week.  I'm going to need to sit down and really plan this out to make sure that I can complete them all.  The other challenge will be that I only have 20 days to get all 25 classes in!  Classes aren't offered on Sundays, plus I missed out on starting on the 1st of the month since I just heard about it today.  Plus I'll be out of town at the end of the month!  25 classes, 20 days, wow!  This is going to get interesting!!!  It will be fun though to try out all of the different classes.  Who knows, I might find one that I just completely love! 

I love challenges like this, where I can see a concrete goal.  It's like when I did the Ironman Challenge.  I am really looking forward to this!  I feel like this is the shake up that I really need!

So far, I can check off one class.  This morning was Kickin' Boot Camp.  1 down, 24 to go!

Little Goals

I love hitting small goals that I make for myself along the way.  I have a lot of weight to lose, and I felt like one of the best things that I could do is make small goals that I can accomplish..  I set a goal for myself of where I wanted to be weight wise by Christmas.  A number of times, I've felt like I wouldn't end up being able to accomplish it.  But yesterday, 1 week before Christmas, I HIT MY GOAL!!!  I know that I still have a long way to go, but it's very self affirming to hit these small goals.

Current Weight Loss - 38.5 Lbs.

25 lbs.

I finally hit my first milestone!  As of this morning, I have officially lost 25 lbs!!!  I had set the short term goal for myself to be down 25 lbs by the end of 10 weeks.  I am finishing week #8 tomorrow!  Happy that I'll more than hit my goal.  So excited that I am finally starting to see a real difference in myself.  Ready to start working towards my 50 lbs milestone!

Setting Goals

I was listening to a Jillian Michaels Podcast last night and she made a comment to someone that really hit home with me.  This lady was having a really hard time staying motivated to diet and exercise.  Jillian asked her why she wanted to lose weight.  The only reason that she could come up with was that she wanted to be healthier.  Jillian said that was the reason that she couldn't stay motivated.  She needed to make some specific goals, not something vague like "be healthier".  Then every time that you are tempted to not workout, or you are tempted to eat something that you know you shouldn't, you can think of those goals and decide what's more important to you.

So, I've made myself some short term and long term goals.  Some of them (obviously) will have to be accomplished before I move on to the next goal.  Also, I'm sure that my list will grow.  But for now, on the right hand side of my blog I've made a list of my current goals.  Can't wait to start crossing some of them off!

Friends

I have the most amazing and most encouraging friends!  Having someone that you look up to come up and say that they are proud of what you have accomplished so far is an amazing feeling!  Then another friend come up and start talking about all of the fun 5k's that I can enter, that she'll go do with me.  She doesn't even question if I'll actually finish the program.  She believes in me!  And an encouraging word on my blog or on facebook lifts me up so much.  An instructor that pushes me every single week, insisting that I can do more and can push harder. 

I am beyond blessed to have such amazing people in my life.  And knowing that some of them have come from exactly where I am right now and seeing all of the things that they've accomplished.  That is so encouraging!  Gives me something to be constantly working for.

I am very grateful.  Thanks Diva's.  Because of you guys, I have done far more in the last year than I EVER thought possible!  You have kept me going and kept me encouraged even when the weight wasn't coming off.  Your advice and example is what has pushed me to make the life changes that I've so desperately needed.  You have changed my life.  Walking into that first kickboxing class and meeting all of you was the best decision I've ever made.  I don't know where I'd be today if it wasn't for you.

Favorite iPhone App

There has been one particular iPhone app that has helped me out more than any other as I work on losing weight.  I use it every single day, throughout the day.  And the best part of it, it was FREE!  The app is called "Lose It!", also if you don't have a smart phone they have a website at www.loseit.com.  On this app I can track all of the food that I eat throughout the day, check total carbs, protein, sodium, fat, etc.  I can make custom foods.  They also have a number of restaurant foods and those calories counts.  My favorite part is the recipe builder.  I can enter all of the ingredients and amounts into the app, then play around with how many servings that would be and it will tell me calories per serving.  You can also track your exercise throughout the week.  It has a ton of different things listed with approximate calorie counts.  Or if you have a heart rate monitor (which I do) then you can go in and manually enter exactly how many calories you burned for that exercise.  The whole thing is pretty customizable too.  You enter your current weight, enter your goal weight, then pick a plan.  Do you want to just go slowly and lose 1/2-1 lbs a week?  Or do you want to lose 2 lbs a week?  Pick a program and it will tell you your calorie allowance for each day as well as tell you what day you should hit your goal weight by!  There is a graph that shows your weight loss too, but that's the one thing that I like better on the website than the app.  Too small of a graph on the app.  BUT, everything that I put on the app is automatically updated on the website.  So whenever I need a little boost of confidence or a push to keep going, I pull up the website and look at that graph and see how my weight has gone down. 

For me, the only way to make a true life change is by counting calories eaten and calories burned.  I've tried many of the different fad diets where you have a list of approved foods and then you don't have to count amounts and stuff.  But for me, those just aren't something that I can stick with long term.  But if I am counting calories, I can let myself have that occasional treat.  I tend to make lots better choices with that treat, but I also don't say that I can NEVER have something.  That's not reasonable for me or sustainable.  I am trying to make a LIFE change, not a temporary change.  But like I said, I tend to make better choices this way.  Instead of buying an ice cream that is 230 calories for half a cup, I'll look for something like Dryer's Slow Churned Vanilla that's only 100 calories for half a cup.  And instead of covering it with chocolate syrup, I'll probably have fresh fruit or pureed strawberries, or something along those lines.  Tracking calories has also opened my eyes to just how many calories some of my old favorites have in them. 

I've truly realized just how it is that I got to where I currently am at.  I don't let that discourage me though.  Because with the help of this app, I am now making lots better choices and I WILL reach my goals because of that!

Current Weight Loss: 12 lbs

Breakthrough

Finally!  I broke through being stuck at the same weight.  In fact, over the last few days I've dropped several lbs bringing my current weight loss in 3 weeks to 11.5 lbs!!!  This definitely taught me a lesson.  I CAN'T let myself get discouraged or give up just because the weight isn't coming off in the exact amount and time frame that I want it to.  I just need to stay on track.  As long as I keep eating healthier foods, counting calories and exercising, the weight WILL come off!!!  I still have a long way to go on this road, so I am sure that this wont be the last time that my weight loss stalls a bit.  I just hope that next time I can remember this and not let myself get frustrated.  Today, looking at my current weight loss, I feel great!  I am very happy at what I've accomplished and can't wait to continue to hit all of my long term and short term goals.